Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Enjoy the penises
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
