do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
