Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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