Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
