I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
