When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
