She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
