Midget sex pt 2 tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
