i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
