I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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