ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
