if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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