just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
