How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
