dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
