i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
