i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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