WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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