It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
