If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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