EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just high enough for therapy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
