she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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