I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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