Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you're hired as official boob wrangler
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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