New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
BRING THE BAGELS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
