I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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