Plan B is the new Plan A
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
