Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
