i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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