dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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