Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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