The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
