OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
