Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
