May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
