just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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