Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my liver is dry heaving
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
