I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
