You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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