so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
