that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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