My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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