Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize