He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
