Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
