I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
