1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
