i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
