It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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