YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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