:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
