All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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