Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
