I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
