Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
