just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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