i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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