You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
