I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
