Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
