Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
