dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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