I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Houston, we have a blender
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize