Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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