I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
