So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
