i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
